Last updated on January 27th, 2024 at 02:04 pm
“Tochi, are you seeing someone else?”
“Wait wait,” he got up from the chair. “You deduced this from us not talking for some days?”
“You have not answered my question,” I replied. He dusted his trousers as if there was dust on them and sat down again.
“That’s a dumb question, no offense.” I looked at him. I was not only livid, I was hurt, but I kept quiet.
“You still have not answered my question.” If he replied yes, I had no idea what I’d do or even say, but I persisted. He acted invincible but I did not force him to date me; he wouldn’t be getting off so easily.
“See, I don’t know what’s going on in your mind or how insecure you are for you to think I am cheating because we did not speak for a few days. Okay, since you did not also call me, are you cheating?” Jeez. Tochi was making me question my feelings.
“Tochi, you don’t get to make light of this or even put it on me. Are you seeing another girl?” I shouted unable to hold myself anymore.
“No!” He shouted and got up as if he wanted to leave. I was shaking with anger.
“Tochi, if you leave, we are done,” I said in a very calm tone that made even me surprised. I expected him to leave, his attitude always reflected that he wasn’t fully into what we had. He turned back and sat down. I almost heaved a sigh of relief.
***
After a long period of silence. Tochi cleared his throat.
“What state did you choose to serve?” The real thing we should be discussing. I face-palmed and exhaled harshly.
“I chose Abuja, you?”
“I chose Lagos.” I was not surprised. Tochi had never been to Lagos but he had mentioned more than once that he really wanted to go. Now was his chance I guessed.
“Oh, okay.” What did this mean for us?
We were both quiet again. I dropped my forehead to my palm, pinching the bridge of my nose. I did not want to fight, I disliked it. I’d had to keep quiet more than once just to avoid issues.
“I am leaving school next week,” I said.
“I am leaving next week too.” He replied. I had started seeing some of my results and he was the first person I wanted to call every time but I remembered we weren’t talking and instead called Zabby. Not like I would not have called her anyway.
We were quiet for a while again. Then he looked at his phone, I looked at mine too. It was past eleven, definitely late.
“I should start going. Can I go now?” He asked almost sarcastically. I got up and wrapped a scarf around my shoulders.
“You don’t have to escort me. It’s late. Stay inside.” He said almost as if he cared.
“No, it’s fine. I won’t go beyond the hostel.”
“Okay,” he replied and opened the door.
***
I was about to ask if he was at his hostel when I got his text message.
I’m sorry for how I acted, baby. Just going through some stuff. I felt relieved, then angry, then sad. If he had stuff disturbing him, why not talk to me?
It’s fine. Are you at the hostel? I texted back. He didn’t reply. Here we go. Ten minutes later, I got his text.
Just did. Really tired, good night. And that was it. I really needed to talk to Zabby.
***
“Babe, are you okay? It’s really late.” zabby answered, sounding worried.
“I am good.”
“Wait, is your roomie still around? Let’s video call.”
“No, she has gone home.” We switched to a video call.
“Jeez! Mama, you don’t look good at all.”
I spent the next twenty minutes updating Zabby on everything. We both went quiet for a while. I was sad, but relieved and lighter having confided in my best friend.
“Okay, I’m just going to say it. Tochi has issues, and we all do, but this is to your detriment.” She kept quiet again as if waiting for me to talk, but I knew she was not done, and honestly, I had nothing to say again.
“He is also not willing to even let you in, let alone try to work on his issues. Nobody is perfect, but this is not even the bare minimum. And it’s unfair, with all the drama you people did before eventually agreeing to date, one would think he’s prepared and has had enough time to think things through.”
“Angela, you can do better. We can do better, not gonna lie. It’s hard but this is just silly. Direct Zabby would just say you should break up with him and enjoy your service as a single lady. Considerate Zabby would ask, Angela, what do you want? So, Angel darling, what do you want?”
I was quiet. Everything she said was true to an extent, but also, Tochi was not even cheating, I knew his schedule and all his friends. I knew some of his siblings as well. He was my male best friend. We’d had many great moments: getting me drugs when I was sick, following me to the library to read when I had tests, getting me food whenever I was too busy with school stuff and couldn’t cook. It was a lot. He also assured me of his love for me. All his friends thought we had the best relationship because of how committed Tochi could be.
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