Last updated on March 4th, 2024 at 04:29 pm
“Tochi, it’s almost the New Year and we haven’t seen each other.”
“See, I was about to say that you should count yourself lucky that I am a very patient man. You haven’t seen me in ten months, no sex, nothing. I haven’t seen my son either, only video calls. But you are always worth the wait, baby.” He replied, laughing.
If there was an exact name, a way to identify Tochi’s attitude, it would make things easier. The way he laughed about this made it seem light. It was even crazier because we concluded that he was going to come visit and not the other way. I couldn’t possibly travel by road with a one-year-old when he could just come around alone. There was no need for any explanation, it was plain and simple, he told me he was going to come.
I talked to him about seeing my parents too and he said we could have the conversation later, every time I tried to talk about it, he laughed about it or plainly ignored it. I thought I was just being difficult, apparently, I was not.
“Angel, are you there?” I was lost in thought and did not know that I was supposed to reply to Tochi.
“Yes, yes, I am here.”
“Oh, okay. So, what’s the plan for the New Year?” Topic effectively changed. I took a deep breath.
“Job hunting, honestly.”
“Yeah, you need another job.”
“I do. Imagine not getting a pay raise after a year, no leave, nothing.”
“You deserve a better job. They keep increasing your JD and refuse to talk about your remuneration, which makes no sense to me.” Tochi and I kept talking for another ten minutes. We were now rounding off the conversation.
“At least, if you get another job, you can have more time for me and be able to visit. Or will you try to apply for jobs in Lagos?” My answer was a straight no. My support system was in Abuja and Enugu, I definitely wasn’t trying to make my life harder.
“Why can’t you move to Abuja?” I replied, defensively.
“I think the life there is too slow for me. The last time I was there, if not for love, I would have left the next day or even immediately.” Okay, this is new.
“Tochi, you didn’t tell me this. Is that why you haven’t visited?”
“Well, now you know.” He answered, laughing. For the first time since I knew him, his laughter sounded foolish and evil. All the times he laughed, it was always at my expense or to make his words sound less harsh, like now.
“But, when you came back to me, I asked you how we would handle the distance. I asked.”
“I told you we would resolve it as it comes.”
“No! You told me you were going to come visit.”
“Really? I said that, Angela?”
“Yes!” My voice was getting loud and my heart was beating wildly.
“Okay, let’s agree to disagree.” He said, dismissively.
“No, we are not doing that!”
“Angela, what do you want? See me see wahala o, wetin this madam want?” He sounded as if I was overreacting.
“No, no, Tochi! You don’t get to downplay my feelings. You said you were going to come, you get a leave and I don’t. I have our child here with me. I already take enough for us, for the team.” If we could even call us a team.
“Wait, madam. Calm down. Yes, I got a leave and I was busy, which I told you.”
“You didn’t tell me about your leave and stop asking me to calm down.” I interrupted him.
“Will you allow me to talk? Or na only you everything dey pain?” I huffed in response.
“Tochi cut the crap. Stop this gist, you are being dishonest.”
“Angela, let me talk for once in your life! I am busy. I have a child to take care of, I need to work harder than most of my mates. Eliam is not with you, he is with your parents, so you do nothing! I send his allowance, your parents take care of him, tell me what you do? Correct me if I am wrong!” Wow!
Tochi’s thinking was really shallow. When he got his leave, I didn’t even know but seeing as the year had ended, it made sense that he already got his leave. This meant that Tochi was on leave and we spoke all through, but he kept it from me. Now, he had the effrontery to tell me that I was doing nothing when it came to Eliam.
“Tochi, you are very shallow. And you project your lack of depth on every other person. Now you can say that you have been paying Eliam’s allowance after leaving for over a year at the most difficult time. I pended my life and my career because of a mistake that we both made! I carried and birthed your son. I breastfed him and went through the pain, the emotional torture alone.”
“Angela, don’t make me angry. Don’t hold your decision against me, ever! I told you to abort it. I did. If anything, I am the responsible one here.”
“Are you serious?” I whispered. Tochi always managed to exhaust me. It was insane.
“You are so hard to please. Nothing is ever enough for you.”
“Wow, Tochi. We are back to where we started.”
“Please, let’s talk later. Hopefully, you are apologetic then.” Then he ended the call.
***
“What’s wrong?”
“Tochi and I had a big fight.” I heard Zabby sigh. She released her embrace briefly before she tightened her arms around me again.
“I’m sorry about that, baby.” She patted my back. The conversation with Tochi was a few hours ago, but I was still hurt. I sobbed as Zabby comforted me. After a while when she saw that I was calm, she spoke.
“Angela, the truth is that I see you making a decision that doesn’t serve you over and over and it hurts me. You are my sister and I am lucky to have you, but your decisions regarding this guy put me in a bad place mentally. I can’t support you. The best thing for me is to detach.” For the first time, I understood Elizabeth’s perspective. It was not that she didn’t care, it was that she cared too much and couldn’t bear to watch me suffer. I hugged her even tighter as she sighed again.
“Thank you.” I don’t know why I said it, but I felt like I had to say something.
“It’s fine.” She answered, still rubbing my back. “What caused the fight?” I spent the next few minutes narrating my conversation with Tochi to Zabby.
…
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