Last updated on February 25th, 2024 at 09:34 am
It was almost unbelievable, but Tochi and I hadn’t seen each other in over six months. Our calls were frequent, he was still sweet and still sent Eliam’s allowance but he wasn’t even talking about us seeing each other. The annoying thing was that as much as I wanted to, I could not tell Zabby. We were back to the way we used to be, Zabby and I, but by some unspoken rule, we never talked about our partners. I hated the rule.
I didn’t care if talking to her made me dumb, I was going to talk to her. Tonight.
***
“Zabby, why have you not been gisting me about your relationship again?” We were both in the kitchen making dinner. I had been stalling until now that we were almost done cooking. I thought she was going to ignore me and I was ready for her. I had played the conversation in my head repeatedly, so I was ready to push until she budged. Today was Friday anyway and I didn’t go to work until Monday. Surprisingly, she replied to me, in a chilling tone.
“Because I don’t want to.”
“And we are supposed to be besties?”
“Yup.”
“Elizabeth. Make this make sense, please.”
“Angela, are you curious about my relationship or do you want to talk about yours or what?”
“All of the above. I miss you. I miss us. I miss when we could talk about everything.”
“Okay.” She started dishing our meals and as usual, I went to get water from the fridge. I picked up my tray of food and trailed her to the sitting room. If she thought I was letting this conversation go, she was a big joker. We had started eating when I continued.
“I want us back.”
“Why does that sound like a guy that messed up and is being cocky about asking for forgiveness?” I guessed that was how I sounded.
“Wait, Zabby. Are you saying that if you get proposed to, you won’t tell me?”
“Wait until then.” That hurt, but I shook my shoulders, ready to go again. Give her some minutes. I thought to myself.
***
I cleared my throat to signal that the break was over. Zabby looked at me and rolled her eyes. Okay, green light. Very dull but it’s something.
“If you are not going to talk about your relationship, I am going to talk about mine.”
“I won’t reply.” Elizabeth was cold! I was cracking the ice tonight!
“So, Tochi and I have been together since February.” Zabby was quiet. I allowed her to finish her food and continued.
“He promised to do better and I really think he has been doing a good job at that. I mean he stumbles, we all do, but he consistently shows up for us.” To my surprise, Zabby replied. It was not what I expected, but I would take anything I could get.
“Thanks for informing me.” She replied in a clipped tone.
“Uhh, okay. How is Charles?”
“Charles is fine.”
“So, what do you think about Tochi and I getting back together?”
“What does it matter?” I get why Zabby would ask this. I’d never made her feel like her contribution was important when it came to me and my relationship with Tochi.
“It matters a lot, Zabby.”
“Naa, I think what you need is someone to vent to and not someone to advise you. And that’s completely fine. But I have exhausted my bandwidth and can’t listen to you venting about Tochi anymore. No relationship is perfect, that should suffice for you.” She got up and cleared our plates. I was supposed to do the dishes but I heard the tap running and plates clanking and knew that Zabby was doing the dishes. All in a bid to avoid this conversation. But something told me that she really wanted to talk because knowing her, there were other ways for her to shut me down. I got up and went into the kitchen and began to rinse the plates. We both wiped our hands and I followed her. She sighed and looked at me.
“What do you want, madam?”
“Nothing. I just want us to talk.”
“And you said ‘nothing.’”
“Well, it’s still nothing.” I didn’t know what was happening but it appeared that I was also stalling. Now that it seemed as if she wanted to talk, I felt scared to know what she had to say.
“Zabby, what level of imperfection in a relationship becomes a deal breaker?”
“What’s a deal breaker for you?”
“Umm, I never really thought about it. Cheating, abuse… I guess those things. Maybe falling out of love with me.”
“Okay. That should answer your question.” None of these things were happening in my relationship at the moment, so I should feel good, but it felt like something was missing. Like Tochi calling all the shots in the relationship for instance.
“What’s a deal breaker for you?”
“Hmm, cheating, complacency, abuse, lack of support, poor communication skills, spending recklessly, practising unhealthy habits, keeping nasty friends… I guess that’s it.” Trust Zabby’s list to be long.
“So, Charles doesn’t do any of these?”
“See ehn, the thing is that before we even start, I would have screened you. I don’t want to start and then start seeing things that I can’t deal with, then I would start rationalising them. Naa.”
“Hmm… what if he didn’t have some of these habits at the inception, but later, he started adopting them?”
“Well, that’s a different case. He owes it to me to let me know what’s happening. Again, Angela, I don’t eat anything that’s harder than a banana. Charles and I discussed many things before we started. Also, if things don’t work out, it’s not a do-or-die affair. That’s why there’s something called a breakup.”
“But breakups hurt.”
“That’s why my screening process is strict. No one is perfect, but you must know what you want at the very least.”
…
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