Last updated on February 15th, 2024 at 04:36 pm
My brother’s friend, the noisy one with dreads, is around. As expected his voice is booming throughout the house, thankfully, I have taken my nap. I wear my slippers and pack my hair before stepping out of my room.
“Kiiti, everybody must know when you’re around. Noisy human.” I say, eyeing him as I enter the kitchen where he and my brother are making chinchin. He’s my brother’s agemate and they’ve been friends since school, which means that we’ve been dealing with his insufferableness for about ten years now. My brother will be thirty this year and exactly a month later is Kiiti’s thirtieth.
“Well, hello, little angel. Good to see you too.” To be honest, Kiiti never returns my insults, but I can’t help not insulting him. Not only is he loud, but also arrogant, case in point, he just raised his bulky arms to pack his dreads up and a sliver of skin is peeking through—totally unnecessary. I am quite small, okay not quite, I’m petite. At twenty-six, all I can boast of is a height of five feet and fifty-five kg weight. I never get intimidated, but something about Kiiti makes me defensive, even when he’s quiet.
“I told you not to call me that silly name.”
“Watch it, Dee.” My brother snaps. He’s used to our banter already, but every now and then, he chips in a caution. I ignore him and make for the chinchin they just made.
“Your thirtieth is not until August, yet no one, not one person on this street will hear the last of it.” I try to grab another handful of chinchin and Kiiti taps my hand.
“Ouch!”
“There’s your punishment. Don’t touch my thing.” He smirks at the same time that my brother scoffs.
***
I don’t know why I keep accepting to go on errands for Feeki, well, I think I know…the love of money is the root of every evil. That’s why on a Saturday morning while my mates are in bed, I am in a taxi to Kiiti’s house. Kiiti and my brother both run a neckerchief line for men and I am going to deliver the new stock to Kiiti.
I heave a sigh as I drop the carton at Kiiti’s entrance. I’m about to knock when he opens the door.
“Look who is here, my little angel.” He says smiling. I pick up the box and go into his apartment without saying anything. “Let me help you, little fiery princess.” I look at him and give him the stink eye, refusing to drop the box. “Okay okay,” he steps back.
I could use the help but not with Kiiti. He has a way of making me feel like his little sister and allowing him to assist me would mean that I agree.
“Drop it on the table beside the wall.” I do as he says and turn to leave. He isn’t about to let me leave though as he blocks the entrance and folds his arms. The muscles again. I roll my eyes and raise my brow in a silent question.
“Why are you not talking?” He whispers as if we are both on the same team and not sworn enemies.
“There’s nothing to say. My brother sent me on an errand and I delivered.”
“You say it as if he didn’t pay you and you’re just that humble sister.” He says, laughing.
“I’m surprised the whole world doesn’t already know… Feeki keeping a secret with you?”
“There you go! I can’t see you and not anticipate your bantering. It affects me.”
“Now you’ve gotten it, can I leave? My bed calls.”
“Bed?” He looks at his wristwatch. “At this time?”
“Some of us take our sleep seriously, unlike others who choose to send mails requesting new stock at 3 am.” I try to move towards the door and he blocks me again. I’m very aware of our height difference now that we are close.
“I’ve got a question for you, Dee.”
“I don’t care.” He smiles, seeming unbothered as always.
“Do you really dislike me?”
“What?”
“Just answer me.”
“Please, let me go.”
“Okay.” He leaves the entrance and stretches his hand to the door. I never do what he expects, so I remain in the same position and turn to face him, arms akimbo. I don’t miss the amusement on his face as one side of his mouth turns upward.
“Fiery princess, what do you have to say?” I’m quiet as I chew on my lip searching for the right answer. He turns to leave and without thinking, I grab his arm. Immediately, I know it’s a wrong decision, my fingers barely cover his bulky arm.
“Why do you go to the gym, anyway, isn’t this arm big enough?”
“You seem engrossed. You can touch it. I don’t bite.”
“Eww, you’re my brother’s friend. You shouldn’t say stuff like that.” He smiles and leaves to sit on the couch.
“Bye, love. Thanks for bringing the box.” I said it, very arrogant!
***
“Why do I have to go and not you?” Feeki just sent me to deliver another box to Kiiti again.
“Okay, give me my money.”
“No way.”
“Then go.”
“That boy is rude. I will give it to him hot if he tries me.”
“He never tries you. He is actually very humble and smart, the major reason our business is thriving. He is such a good person and he really likes -” He stops before completing the sentence.
“He really likes who?” I know he’s had some girlfriends and heartbreaks in the past, but I always tuned out, I didn’t need to know about his love life. Now, I’m curious.
“Nothing. Deliver the box or return my money.”
***
“You’re here again.” Kiiti smiles as he opens the door. This time, he doesn’t say anything, he just goes to his laptop and continues to work. I drop the box and stare at him, he’s wearing a tank top and shorts, really short shorts. Showing off his body is the norm for him, he models some of their neckerchiefs, I’m not surprised.
“Dee, I love it when you stare at me like that.” Arrogant jerk! I cleared my throat.
“You’d die if you passed up on the chance to show off, wouldn’t you?”
“Well, what can I say? I’ve got the looks. Though,” he pouts, “someone doesn’t seem as attracted as I hope. Dee, pray that things take a positive turn.” I really don’t like him calling my name, I prefer his silly nicknames.
“Someone doesn’t like you? Wow, welcome to the real world. I’m sure you can handle one person not liking you.” He’s quiet. I really want him to reply, so I push, moving closer to the couch.
“You’re so full of yourself, you can’t stand the idea of one person not liking you out of maybe a million women that must like you.”
“Dee, you have a bizarre way of showing someone that you like them.”
“Who? You?”
“So, you dislike me then?” He gets up moving towards me. I back up as he approaches me.
“I think ‘dislike’ is an understatement.”
“Awesome!” He smirks and stops. “I have a test to confirm that and you’ll do it. You see, I’ve been dying to run this test and I was concerned about your brother but I have his blessings already. Should you pass the test, then I’m wrong. Otherwise, Dee, I’m going to punish you for every time you’ve insulted me. And I’m quite good at that.”
“You’re really arrogant… I hope you know that fine men are common, they exist everywhere.” He resumes his approach again and I start shifting backwards.
“You’ve started failing the test. I’m going to enjoy this.” I keep moving until my back hits a table close to the entrance. Some keys on the table rattle and I flinch.
“Careful, little woman.” He boxes me in with his arms and I raise my chin to meet his face, unwilling to concede.
“So, I’m going to do a few things now and if you’re able to insult me all through, you’ve passed. If not, I’m going to take you over my knees and spank you. Noted?”
“So bossy. What do you want to do?”
“You’ll find out soon.” He raises his hand as if to touch my jaw but instead removes an invisible lint from my blouse.
“You’ll have to try harder. There’s no test here. I should punish you if I pass.”
“I’d love to see that.” His raspy voice makes me lose all coherence. I don’t know what I stand to gain from this silly test, but I never back down and I’m not about to. He touches my ear and strokes my earlobe. I hear someone gasp and it’s me! His face is now unreadable. I should quit this test now. While stroking my earlobe, he shifts even closer, drops his other hand on my neck, and strokes my pulse. I swallow and hold the table, my knees almost jelly.
“You do know that you haven’t insulted me in over two minutes? Just wanted to let you know that you’re failing. How did you pass in school?” He says all this in a whisper so close to my ear, the same one he’s been stroking. His breath fans my ear and I think I gasp again. I should reply. He continues this way for some minutes, feeling like hours.
I’m about to touch him when he holds my hands in one of his. I hear someone grumble and it’s me. He smiles and strokes my lips.
“We have many days, many many days to do a lot of things.” I shiver and lean on him, hiding my face from his intense stare. He kisses my nose and hugs me. Kiiti is huge! This doesn’t bode well for me.
He steps back, smiling.
“You failed…” He clears his throat and tries to talk again. “You failed the test, Dee. Do you agree?” I nod, lowering my gaze. He lifts my chin.
“Chin up, fiery princess. Just one question. I accept that you truly dislike me, but would you go out on some dates with me? Your brother is totally fine with this, by the way.” I attempt to talk but nothing comes out. I pause, take a deep breath, and try again.
“Okay.” I say. He pumps his fist in the air.
“You’ll never admit that you like me, right?”
“No.”
“Not even when I propose?”
“No.”
“Not even when we’re both old and wrinkly?”
“No.” He pouts again and I want to touch his face but I hold back.
“What if I start looking ugly?” This time I laugh. I really laugh. Kiiti can never be ugly. But I nod.
“Yes.”
“Really?” He face-palms.
“Yes.”
“I’m in love with a sadist.” He says.
Well, I’ll have to fail more tests to ever admit that bit to him.