Last updated on May 17th, 2023 at 01:03 pm
It’d been two months since I left Jude and I had never anticipated anything that I experienced in this period. I had to blacklist Jude’s number, including my family’s and his family’s. I was considering being cordial with him for the sake of our kids, but Jude was threatening me and I believed it. I believed he was capable of everything he was saying he would do.
It’d been about three days of calm now. I was hoping they were all burnt out. The kids asked of their father and I just told them they would see him soon. They have reduced the way they asked now, not like he was a real figure in their life. I was torn between feeding them the exact truth about their father as they grew up and keeping the truth from them so they didn’t see him as a bad person.
I was scared, mostly because I didn’t know what my ex could decide to do. I was anxious because I would probably have to deal with him sometime in the future because of my kids. I was worried because these past two months have shown me that I needed to really work hard even though it showed me how blessed I was with my support system.
Majorly, I was overwhelmed with a sense of relief. I felt at ease that I didn’t have to watch my steps again. Sarah had been helping with the supplies as usual, and I had gone to Osogbo twice in the past two months. She had also come to visit me. Vic was also here last week. I felt free.
I started my crotchet class and it was going well, probably just beginner’s excitement though.
***
I clocked twenty-nine last month, which was a year since I divorced Jude. Today was Samuel and Sarah’s tenth year wedding anniversary and I had to show up. Sarah had been an excellent friend. I heard Jude was now married and sincerely it made me feel more relaxed because that meant he would not have the time for us.
My family had been trying to get back to me and have a discussion with me, but I had declined. I decided to keep them at arm’s length just as Sam did. There was no chance of me meeting anybody that I did not want to meet at this party because none of the family members liked Sarah to begin with.
My kids were doing fine. I reached out to Jude twice to see his children and he refused, so I reckoned he divorced his kids as well. I had started selling my crotchet and it was a lot of work, but it was fulfilling and people seemed to like my work. Mostly, I had to become more confident as a person and business owner.
Some days were bad, many days were sour and other days I cried and regret having wasted my time. Many days I woke up at midnight with panic attacks and got sick with fear. Other times, I struggled with the huge responsibility I had on my young shoulders already, but there were many good days. I stood my ground for once. I accepted the truth; Jude could never have been the man for me.
About my panic attacks and occasional insomnia, Vic suggested I saw a therapist. She even promised to pay. I would have to consider it at some point, but for now, I had no spare time. Some nights I’d dream about Jude coming to bang on the door and wake up with my heart pounding. I would say a silent prayer for his new wife, but it was really not my concern right now. I was still trying to stay afloat.
The kids’ school would go on soon go on their long break and I was considering taking them to mummy Abound’s place. During their break, I would take the time to breathe and relax. It was really hard, but one thing pushed me—my courage to make this bold move. If I had stayed, I would not have had the freedom I now had. Jude would have sabotaged me at every chance. I would have been alive but not living.
Thanks for reading the story of Lape. I hope that you’re inspired to truly live.
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