Episode 37

Last updated on May 15th, 2023 at 09:04 am

We just had sex and I wanted to get up when he pulled me back. As usual, he forgot the condom, I gave him one from my box and he started begging to “feel me naturally.” This was the routine already; I was getting used to it. I wondered what he wanted now. I could not even bear to look at his face.

“What is it?” I snapped.

“Lape, what is today?” He said, sounding soft.

“I don’t understand.”

“What is the implication of today in your life?”

“I still don’t understand.” 

“I called you this afternoon and told you I just wanted to check up on you.”

“Yes, you did.”

“You see I did not come home to eat.” Well, I was not really expecting him after what happened yesterday.

“Lape, you forgot my birthday. I called hoping to remind you of what today is and it was clear that you did not remember.”

“What’s today, please?” 

“So, you don’t know it’s my birthday?”

“Oh!” I feigned surprise.

“I was hurt that you did not remember when I called earlier, that’s why I did not come home to eat. I was hoping you would call to ask me why I did not come home for lunch; you still did not call.”

“Jude, first, happy birthday. I have too many things on my mind than this silent reminder you are trying to do.” He could not hide the surprise he felt, there was another emotion there too, but I could not pinpoint it.

“Lape.” He whispered.

“Don’t worry, I am sure Faith would have made it a worthy day for you.” I said, getting up. I had not checked his phone in a while, but his silence made me know that it was true. I felt a twist in my chest but ignored it.

***

“Lape, I don’t want you working. I don’t support it.” Finally, he says it.

“Jude, you sound like a caveman when you talk like this. Why don’t you want me working?”

“To what end is this work for?”

“Your friend, Simon, does his wife not work?”

“Yes, she does.”

“Olajide, does his wife not work? What of Saheed? Even Tope…Why is it just me that should not work?” A reason for his attitude would give me a lot of clarity right now.

“You can’t compare their marriages to what we have.” I certainly couldn’t. Simon’s wife travelled all year round leaving the kids with Simon.

“Okay. But give me one reason, just one reason why I should not work.”

“Lape, I am your husband, I am the head of this house-”

“I knew it! I knew it! Your voice has started getting loud. You cannot talk to me without increasing your voice. You just can’t.” I said, storming out.

***

I had just taken a shower and was preparing for bed when Jude came inside and sat on the edge of the bed like a stranger.

“Lape, I want to talk to you.” Now he wanted to talk to me. I never thought I would see this day—Jude being so demure. I had many questions for him, questions I might never get answers to if experience had taught me anything. So, I swallowed my questions and focused on what I was doing. 

“Baby.” He said, coming close to me. I was going to flinch, which was crazy, this was my husband. “Lape, baby, I know I have been a bad husband to you.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at him, at his face. His eyes were glistening, Jeez, could this be it? He dropped his head on my shoulder and started sobbing.

“I am ready to fix up for us, baby.” 

“Please, stop crying,” I said, my voice almost breaking too. “Just stop crying.”

“Forgive me, baby, Lape, please.” He continued amidst his sobs.

“Jude, it’s fine.”

“Can we go to the other room?” I was going to tell him that this was actually our room but he hated his sleep being disturbed by the cries of our children. I kept quiet though. I grabbed my phone and we went to the other room and laid on the bed, him still sobbing. I had a million thoughts in my head as I stroked his back. I had never seen him this vulnerable.

***

“Jude cried?” Vic asked.

“Babe, I was shocked.”

“Girl, you must have shown him a little craze o.”

“I don’t even know.” I had to talk to someone and I updated Vic on Jude’s reaction to me working, his mum calling me and what happened last night.

“So, everything sha ended with sex abi? Hmm.” Lape cleared her throat. “Baby number three, here we come,” I remembered I did not tell her I did not get the IUD, so I kept quiet, laughing along. God forbid baby number three, we used a condom sha. He did not even object when I pulled out one condom and gave it to him.