Last updated on April 29th, 2023 at 05:24 am
It’d been almost three months since Dimeji started school and I was finding a rhythm and settling into the rote. Daniel was also about four months needing more monitoring since he could now sit. That was the endless cycle. I had been on my super good wife behaviour for two weeks straight. I had not taken any rest, not in my chores or in the bedroom. Usually, Jude just came to wake me up and we had sex, after which he went back to the other room which was actually supposed to be for the kids. But since he disliked the noise and crying, he now stayed in the other room while the kids slept in our room with me. I prefered to go and meet him in his room because I didn’t want to be doing something that sensitive when I knew my kids could wake up anytime.
I really had to discuss the IUD thing with Jude. I had been playing my part without any complaint. Even though Faith now called him and he had to leave the room to pick up the calls. He still had not locked his phone, so I saw all their messages, pictures, chats, and calls. I had been speaking constantly with Vic and made sure to not slip to her. Any question that included Jude, I either avoided it or hyped him. I knew she was not dumb, but I did it because our marital issues should be between just us. Right. I checked his phone the other day and saw that he was planning on opening a fashion design business for Faith. Meanwhile, we have been getting two thousand naira per day at home.
I had also started thinking of businesses that I could do online and trying to save whatever I could. I had even discussed with Sarah just to get a scope since she had a successful business that I saw her build from scratch. When the business started, I would hide it from mummy and Jude, only Sarah and Vic would know, Vic could assist with Lagos deliveries, Sarah also said whenever I was ready, she would help me.
***
It was weird that two people with kids could be this strange with each other. Weirder was it that we were still obliged to be intimate with each other. I envied Vic’s courage; I would not be wrong to say that her mother also made it easy for her. Imagine telling my mum I wanted to leave Jude with two kids. As soon as I thought of this, I felt guilty and scared. Leave Jude? My husband.
It was Friday and I was hoping he would come home early enough. I wanted to discuss getting an IUD with him, I did not want any mistakes to happen. I hoped my good behaviour over the past few weeks works. I told him as he dressed this morning that I wanted to see him later today and he was receptive.
***
“Why do you need an IUD?”
“To avoid another pregnancy.”
“So we have agreed on only two kids?” I did not prepare an answer for this o. I fiddled with my dress as I thought of the smartest answer to give him.
“It’s anything you want. I am just considering your pocket.”
“Hmm, have I complained?”
“No, you have been taking care of us perfectly.”
“So, what is it then?” I didn’t know if to tell him that I was sad when I discovered I was pregnant with Daniel or that pregnancy was too much of a risk than I was willing to bear for a third time or that he is basically an unsupportive parent and husband.
“I can remove the IUD when we are ready for another child.” It felt like my heart would come out of my chest soon. I remembered Vic saying if not that pregnancy had been romanticised, the risk was too much for anybody to want to go through it more than once or even at all. She said this the day I told her how scared I was towards the end of my last pregnancy.
Jude went silent for a bit, seemingly considering my statement, then said, “Okay, I would start using a condom, but you have to breastfeed Dan until he is about eighteen months because Dimeji’s time was short.” And that’s on me. The news was even better than planned so I took it that way without arguing. According to what he said, I still had about fourteen months to go, by then I would know how to handle the issue of avoiding another child.
***
Daniel was already six months and by next month, Dimeji would be two years old. I still couldn’t believe that I was a mother to two kids. I had also been trying to save the little I could—from the balance from going to shop for things in the house, the allowance he dropped, and any monetary gift. I would be twenty-six soon and Daniel would be more grown, I could start my business.
I still was not clear on what I was going to do. I still had a little time to figure it out though. Concerning the discussion I had with Jude, it stunned me to see that he was always forgetting his condom or saying the condoms had finished. After our agreement two months ago to use a condom, Jude obliged for about a week and started forgetting after that week. I was inclined to believe that he was not forgetting. He just did not want to be bothered or didn’t understand the implication of the situation.
The other day he was going to continue without the condom after I told him it was not safe. I have had to use emergency pills twice even though I wasn’t sure that a lactating mother should be using them. After telling him that we should postpone that night’s sex he got mad and left the room to the sitting room. He did not talk to me for two days nor drop our allowance. I had never not served his food or washed his clothes when we had a misunderstanding, but he was quick to withhold our allowance.
Every time I updated Mummy, she would tell me to pray and then remind me of someone’s husband that was worse and prayer changed him. I was just tired; prayer every now and then as if I was on a battlefield. I went to get a pack of condoms a week ago and when he said he had forgotten his condom as usual, he was surprised when I brought out three condoms. He could not even hide his surprise. I gave one to him and pretended not to notice the question on his face. To my surprise, he started begging me and saying the condom makes it hard for him to feel anything.
“Can’t you just keep on using the pills?”
“I am lactating; I don’t know if it’s good. Also, it’s an emergency pill, not a daily one.”
“So, I have to beg you again to have sex with you? How come a married woman has condoms? Are you insinuating that me, your husband irritates you?” He started shouting. I think he remembered the kids and lowered his voice. “Lape, so no more shame again, or the money I give you is too much, that’s why you can buy condoms.”
“Please, let’s do this and get it over with,” I replied, shocked but unmoved by the way he switched from pleading to anger.
“Baby, please. I want to feel you raw.” He went back to pleading again. I picked up the condom and stretched it to him once more, I expected him to refuse me, but he took the condom and wore it. I had never bought a pack of condoms before then, but I had to do it this time around. Buying the condoms felt better than using the pills.
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