Episode 10

Last updated on February 27th, 2023 at 12:26 pm

“Lape, I have taken permission at work. I am taking you to the hospital tomorrow morning, you have been sick all week.” Jude said as he pulled off his clothes, having just returned from work.

He sounded so sweet; I could not refuse him. He even thought to take permission from work. It was almost a week after Dimeji’s birthday and all week I’d been feeling so unwell. I think it was the birthday stress, but it was Thursday night and there was no sign of improvement. It could be malaria and if not for Jude, I would get medications. I disliked hospitals.

“Ok babe, thank you.” I replied.

***

I got pregnant!

“Congratulations madam.” The doctor said. Did doctors actually look at some patients and think congratulations was the right thing to say at that moment? Were they oblivious to the patient’s reaction? Jude faced me, beaming with a smile. He hugged me and dropped kisses all over my face. 

“That’s my girl.” He kept saying. I managed a smile and silently scolded myself for acting like a witch. I should be happy—I was married and able to conceive without any problems. 

But I was still getting my periods. The doctor said it was very possible. 

He then advised me to stop breastfeeding and start taking a lot of fruits and rest.

“Thank you, Doctor.” Jude said as we got up and he guided me out.

He seemed so happy. Maybe this would bring us closer. I hoped it did. My mood started getting better even as I thought of this. I looked at him and smiled as we headed to the car park. He winked at me and mouthed “my girl.” 

Yes! This pregnancy came at the right time!

***

I woke up feeling a bit disoriented. 

Oh! I was in my husband’s house, pregnant with his second child. 

I got up and went to ease myself. Entering the room, I looked at my tummy, it was still normal. Then I remembered how I felt when I was pregnant with Dimeji, it was not fun at all. I also had a fourth degree tear which meant that I was in pain for months after birthing him. 

Mummy said I was acting too fragile and that women had to be able to bear pain. But not when you have a stitch down there!

There are so many things that no one talked about with pregnancy. Everyone expected you to always be in love with the idea of it. I was happy, but it wasn’t easy. And truly, I was not ready. But, when would I ever be truly ready? Maybe I was only lazy and it was better the way my body made the decision for me.

 Baby number two, here we come!

I went into the kitchen and saw Jude cooking. Ah! Thank God for this pregnancy! It felt surreal; my husband took a day off, stayed home and he was cooking. 

I was such a clown—on the one hand, I was thinking that I wasn’t ready for a second child, on the other hand I was dancing and thanking God for the pregnancy.

“Baby, what are you doing?” I asked as I stepped into the kitchen.

“My love.” He turned to me, smiling. Oh my God! I was almost dizzy with all these emotions.

“You are cooking?”

“Yes ma, I am making rice and banga soup. You have forgotten that I am a good cook abi?”

Jude had never cooked since we’ve been married, not even when I was pregnant with Dimeji. What had gotten him so excited about this news?

“Well-done baby, how can I help you?”

“You can help me by just sitting down and resting. The doctor says you need a lot of rest.”

“Ok sir!” I replied excitedly. I went into the dining room and picked a chair to sit in the kitchen.

***

I’d been on cloud nine since I found out that I was pregnant. My prayers had been answered. Jude came home as early as five o’ clock instead of the usual nine pm. He cooked and cleaned the house, he also bathed Dimeji before he left for work. 

I’d been so relaxed, all I did was wake up, take my bath and eat. It’d been only two weeks but my head already felt so clear. We dropped Dimeji at mummy’s place the next day after I found out I was pregnant and even mummy was doting on me when we were at their place.

We had to drop Dimeji so he could be fully weaned. He stayed with mummy for over a week at Ikire. I had a lot of time to myself in the period he was at mummy’s. I also had enough time to think of my friendship with Vic. Part of the reasons I also communicated less with Vic was because I knew mummy and Jude disliked her. They both thought she was wayward and I should have married friends and not single friends. Vic was not only single; she did not intend to have children or get married. 

Given her background, it made a lot of sense that she would think that way. Her grandmother met her grandfather when she was twenty two years old and he was twenty five at the time. They began building their business together around Nigeria. They would settle in any state of their interest for a year or so and then establish their business and move to another state to repeat the same when the newly established business had enough footing.

They did this for ten years before deciding to birth just one child, Vic’s mum. Vic’s mum also had no intentions of having a child, but when she got raped, she decided to keep the baby. She claimed that she never felt regret for keeping the baby. A family like Vic’s was very rare to find. No one could pressure her into getting married because they were not the conventional family. 

The last time we spoke on the phone was about six months ago. We chatted once in a while, but our chats were strained. I also did not want to feel judged, so even when we chatted, I lied and told her I was doing fine. Not like Vic would judge me or anything, but she would make it very clear as always that I was living a very restrained life. I couldn’t even tell her about what happened when I tried getting a job or when I suggested Jude getting me a car.

Maybe I was selfish, but now that my head was clear—clearer than it had been in almost two years, I missed my friend, my bestie. I picked my phone and dialed her number. She picked almost immediately, and this made me both relieved and anxious. 

“Hello.” She said, sounding curious. Had she deleted my contact?

“Hello, Vic, it’s Lape.” I said, clearing my throat.

“Lape, I know. How are you? Hope there is no problem?”

“No no, I just wanted to hear from you. It’s been a while.”

Vic scoffed, “Lape, it has been more than a while. It’s been about six months.”

“See Vic, I know I have been unavailable but I have an explanation.”

“Okay.”

There was silence for a while and I had to look at my phone to see if she was still on the line.

“Vic, I am sorry.”

“Lape, I am sorry, but this won’t cut it. A lot has happened and a call, just one call would not fix it.”

“What can I do to make it better? I miss my friend.”

“Hmmmm, this one you are already sounding emotional, are you pregnant?” She said sarcastically.

“Yes, I am actually pregnant. But that’s not the issue here Vic.”

“Oh! Okay. I think you should give me some time. We will talk later.” And she hung up.

Dropping my phone, I exhaled deeply, I did not know I had so much pent up feelings.