Chapter 13, Episode 6

Last updated on March 4th, 2024 at 04:33 pm

I woke up feeling very light. After the discussion last night with my dad, when I got into the room, I cried for hours, releasing and purging years of anger, resentment, blame, and frustration. I was going to see Tochi tomorrow and I knew what I was going to tell him. I was still young and had enough time to find love. I remembered Joe then and smiled. I had not chatted with him in over a year. I was very sure he had moved on. Also, I was not even ready to go into anything yet, I needed to take some time off to find myself.

I was packing some clothes for Eliam when I heard a knock on my door. 

“Come in,” I said. My parents came in with Eliam. I gave them a skeptical look and kept arranging my bag.

“Angela, your dad told me everything.” My mum started as my dad pulled out the chair at my desk to sit. He sat with a loud groan that made us all turn to look at him. A dramatic man. As if we could reach each other’s minds, we all burst into laughter. It took the edge off what they were about to say. Eliam also started laughing as soon as he saw us laughing, which made us laugh even more. My dad got up, this time silently, and pulled my mum and I into an embrace.

“We’re so sorry.” He said, his voice muffled. He raised his head and repeated it, “We’re so sorry.” My mum also raised her head, her eyes teary.

“You deserve the world, my daughter. We love you endlessly. The love we have for you gives our own love more meaning.”

“Angela, baby. We are always here for you. Always remember that. I am here for you, your mummy is here for you, even Elizabeth is here for you.” I was at a loss for words. Even if I knew what to say, I doubted the tears I was failing at holding back would have allowed me to talk. So I simply nodded, leaned on my parents and cried.

***

We were preparing to go and see Tochi when Zabby came inside my room. She looked like she wasn’t feeling good. I dropped Eliam on the bed and went to meet her, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She answered.

“Are you sure? Are you sick?”

“No no.”

“Hmm.” I went back to Eliam and continued to dress him. I looked at Elizabeth again and I knew something was up. Did she want to cause an issue so that I don’t go to see Tochi?

“Elizabeth naa.” I whined at the same time that she said, “Please, don’t give in to Tochi’s smooth talk.” Because we talked at the same time, I only heard the last three words. So, I told her to repeat what she said. Then I started laughing.

“Angela, I am serious as a heart attack.” Which made me laugh harder.

“Yeah, you definitely look like someone that’s on the verge of one.” She shook her head and turned towards the door.

“Please, just do what’s right for you. You deserve so much more.” Then she left.

***

As usual, Tochi was looking handsome. When we newly met, he looked pretty with his long lashes, beardless jaw, baby face, and pouty lips. Now though, he looked handsome, he still had the baby face but he looked more manly. I had always appreciated his beauty, but seeing him it also struck me that we hadn’t seen in about a year. The difference a year could make in your partner was so much that it made no sense to stay that long without seeing each other except the circumstances were inevitable. He felt like a stranger to me.

His face had always been a soft spot for me because he had a face that demanded empathy. He looked harmless whereas Joe looked like he could cause harm. He looked innocent were Joe looked guilty. I shook my head to clear off the thoughts of Joe which lately had been more frequent than I cared to admit. It made sense though, he had been the only guy I ever came close to dating since Tochi.

The waiter brought our order. Tochi had ordered rice and turkey for himself, I ordered a soft drink, then chips and chicken for Eliam. 

“You don’t look happy to see me,” Tochi said as he ate another spoon of rice. I knew all of Tochi’s games. He would try guilt, pity, softness, blame, anything really. Right now, he was using guilt and softness.

“You came to see Eliam, here he is.”

“Not just Eliam. I also came to see you.”

“Here we are.” He continued eating and then dropped his cutlery.

“I just don’t get it, you complained of me not coming around and as soon as I could, I came, but you don’t seem impressed.” Guilt and blame now.

“I don’t know what to say if that’s how it comes off to you.”

“Okay. Can we discuss us?”

“Okay.” I didn’t intend to waste time around Tochi because although I appeared cold on the exterior, on the interior I was literally begging him and shaking him to love me. “What about us?”

“I don’t know. Our future or something.” He paused for a bit, thinking. “I want to see your parents.” My heart skipped a beat. Now he was being agreeable.

“See them for what?”

“I don’t know. We have been together for so long, we have a child, and the distance is affecting us, why not just start living together?”

“Oh!”

“Yes. The only way for us to live together is for your parents to agree which means I have to see them.” I ignored the fact that Tochi was planning to see my parents not because it was the right thing to do after all that had happened, but because he wanted us to live together. Rather, I asked him, “So who moves in with whom?”

“I knew you were going to ask. What do you think?” He was deflecting.

“I asked you first.”

“Come on, come off it. We are not kids.” I felt my chest rise with anger and took a few deep breaths. He was going to make me mad then we would fight and he would be able to control everything because fighting was his strength.

“I am no longer interested in us.” He was cutting his turkey when I said this, he gently dropped his knife, still holding his fork with the piece of turkey attached to it.

“Sorry?”

“I am no longer interested in us. Whatever us is.”

…

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