Chapter 13, Episode 5

Last updated on March 4th, 2024 at 04:33 pm

“Angela, baby. What of that guy? Tobe abi na wetin?” He definitely remembered Tochi’s name. I knew he was going to ask. We were on the way to Eliam’s school. I thought about telling him the whole truth or omitting certain things. I settled for the truth. I was tired of lying and covering up because I was scared of being judged. I knew mummy had kept the whole thing from him because he was bound to overreact and probably make a decision that wouldn’t serve all of us. Regardless, I updated him on everything that was happening between Tochi and me, skipping out certain unnecessary details.

He was quiet all through. I expected him to be so mad that I wouldn’t have been able to finish talking. But he was silent and focused on the road. He was quiet until we got to Eliam’s school, picked him and returned home. He remained quiet until we got home and he catered to Eliam, until he made dinner and called me to come and eat. It was unnerving. As we ate, I played with my food as I thought of the best way to approach the issue. I needed him to talk, his silence was making me anxious. I was about to talk when he cleared his throat. I lifted my eyes to look at him and saw that his eyes were on me. His eyes were glistening with tears. My heart dropped to my stomach. I was such a mess that I made my dad cry.

“Angela…” Looking at his untouched plate, he seemed to have little appetite as well. Eliam was watching a cartoon show on the TV in the sitting room so we were both free to talk.

“Daddy,” I answered.

“I have been thinking about everything you told me. Don’t think that I am mad because you kept this from me. Don’t mistake my silence for anger. I feel hurt. If anything, I am mad at myself. Your mum and I didn’t model the best relationship for you. I cheated and almost ruined my family. I could say that I was stupid but I would only be deflecting. Stupid once and it’s a mistake, stupid twice and it’s intentional.”

“Daddy.” I disliked how hurt he was. He held up a hand as if to say he wasn’t done. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and looked back at Eliam again. This time he was dancing to the song from his show. I smiled.

“After the incident we had, we should have informed you of what was going on. We should have told you that we loved each other, that our love was not perfect because we weren’t, but we loved each other and through everything, we could not stop choosing each other. But after such a huge mistake, how could I face you? So, I thought that if I was able to show you how much I loved your mother, you would understand. It seemed to even annoy you more every time I showed her love after that incident. I was confused, but I was even more ashamed.” He drank from his cup and placed it on the table carefully. “A man that wants you won’t make you question his desire. And I know I am the wrong person to let you know but remember that I said that we are not perfect. Before I cheated, I always did right by your mum. I let our issues which were normal get to me and during one of my trips, I did wrong. Nothing justifies it, it was supposed to be that one time, I came home feeling guilty, I didn’t even have her number. I was still battling with how to tell my wife when she called me about three months after to say she was pregnant. I suggested that she abort it but she refused and I respected her decision.” This was a lot to take in for me. As if on cue, my dad also stopped talking for a while, still looking at me.

“So, why did you have the second child?” I stuttered, barely able to form a cohesive thought.

“Honestly, it’s stupid as I said but your mum and I had another issue. In retrospect, it was a very little issue but we let it go unresolved. I decided to go and see your brother for the first time, he was almost two then and I had been sending money for his upkeep but I was too loyal to your mum to even go and see him, even though it killed me. Those years were the most miserable years of my life. I felt unworthy of your mum. We were facing fertility issues and I was encouraging her to forget about it but I went out and had a child. When we had the issue, I was resentful. I thought that she didn’t appreciate my efforts. After being a good husband, the other role I take seriously is being a good father. I was mad at her. So, I decided to go and see my son after all I had not seen him since he was born out of respect to her, but she didn’t accord me any respect. It was shallow of me, I was dumb. So, I went. This was the second time I had seen this woman in my life. She was really kind to me, just what I needed considering the resentment I was feeling. It happened again and I left. Three months later she called and told me the same news. I definitely wanted to run mad. I travelled and left home for two weeks straight. I got depressed, it affected my business, affected my family more–my life was falling apart and it was my doing.”

“Daddy, I don’t know what to say. But mummy said she confronted you about cheating at a time.”

“Yes, she did, but I had made the first mistake and I was battling the guilt so she noticed and hinged on it. She insisted that I was cheating. I knew she had no concrete evidence and at the same time, I couldn’t deny it or affirm her suspicion—not only had I cheated, I had a whole child. I was scared that it would break us.”

“Wow!”

“All we needed to do was talk. We never stopped loving each other. As soon as she gave me a second chance, Angela, I grabbed it. I have seen the woman, Joy, more times now than when we newly met but I have never stayed even close enough to give room for any story to happen. I am sorry, Angela. This apology is long overdue. Your mum and I resolved our issues, but we still go for counselling, we have apologised to each other but we have not come to apologise to you—you who also bore the brunt of our actions, we never did. I am sorry, Angela, baby.” He got up from his chair sobbing as he pulled me into a hug. I briefly looked at Eliam and saw that he had fallen asleep. I hugged my dad tighter. After a while, he released me and held my hands. “It’s been over two years since your mummy gave me the second chance since I begged her to give me another chance and I have not messed up that chance. The fear of losing her crushed my heart. We still have misunderstandings but like I said, we are not perfect. Any man that gets a second chance, or a third chance and still ruins it is not ready. If he makes light of your efforts especially when he didn’t even make any contribution, he is not worth it. If he repeatedly ignores the pain he causes you, Angela, he is not worth it.” He looked at me as if he was pleading with me to understand him. I nodded and he sighed. He hugged me again and cleared our plates. I sat down on the chair too weak to get up.

I was still on the chair when my mum came back from work. Not wanting her to know what happened, I got up and entered my room.

Thanks for reading this episode. Please leave a comment below!

Please follow and like us:
Kindly share to your friends if you enjoyed it!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top