Last updated on March 4th, 2024 at 04:31 pm
“Mummy, I want to talk to you.” I was at home and my dad had not returned from work. Eliam was busy colouring a book if that was what you’d call what he was doing.
“I am a little bit tired, Angela. I hope it’s not too serious and won’t take too long.”
“No. I will keep it short.” My mum sat beside me and I told her the issues I had been facing in my relationship including our fights.
“Hmm,” My mum answered when I was done. “How do you want me to come in?”
“I don’t know. I am just really exhausted by this whole thing.”
“If I am to be candid, I would have said you should not get back with him. But am I really the best person to say such? My own husband cheated on me and I still got back with him.”
“I think you made it clear to him that you weren’t to be played with by also your actions.” My mum was insistent on judging herself for taking my dad back but the truth was that she kept my dad on his toes at every point. She made him work for it and he worked for it. Anyone could see it. Tochi and I didn’t have the same dynamics. I think you could only make someone work for something when they were invested. Tochi was many things but invested in us.
“It’s true, but I can’t help feeling as if I should have just divorced him. That way I can make a statement and let my daughter know that she deserves only the best always. But I think I made you know that, Angela. I think your relationship with your dad is also a clear message of what you deserve from a man.”
“Tochi said I don’t do anything concerning Eliam’s welfare.”
“Just because he came back after a year, a whole year, and started sending ten thousand naira? He didn’t even contribute to the school fees we just paid. Is he joking? We assumed you were the one sending Eliam’s monthly allowance and we were too happy that you could even afford it, but we were happier to even be able to take care of our grandson while you tried to find your footing. Does he know how much a diaper costs? Or does being a father end with just finances? Did you tell him that you add fifteen thousand naira to the money he sends?”
“No, I didn’t tell him.” I had a feeling that Tochi earned more than me, but we never discussed his finances.
“There is no need. He seems like someone that will make light of anything you do, regardless.” It was not a question but if it was, I doubt I had an answer to provide. I was not ready for the truth. “I know you have told Elizabeth, what did she say?”
“Zabby is not even fine with us being together. They dislike each other.”
“My baby, I can advise you and tell you to do A and B. But I know that matters like this are sensitive and the decision has to be made by you.”
“I understand you. But are you saying that if it was physical abuse, you would have this same approach?”
“No! Never! Has he ever hit you?” She held my hand, looking for any signs of physical abuse. I almost laughed.
“No, he hasn’t.”
“Please, don’t try that game with me o.”
“He hasn’t.”
“Exactly, that’s why I feel like I can trust you to do what’s right for yourself.”
“Alright, ma.” Her statement sounded light but it held a lot of weight. She had intentionally refrained from telling my dad that I was with Tochi. Her trust in me definitely reflected her expectations of me. Expectations that I knew I had to fulfil not just for her but for me, and maybe Eliam.
“Have you guys spoken since then?”
“No, we haven’t.”
“You both are emotionally immature, that’s for sure. But, I wouldn’t cave in if I were you.” I knew my mum couldn’t tolerate half of what I tolerated from Tochi. I had asked myself many times if cheating was really a deal breaker for me and my answer hadn’t even been a definite yes. So what was?
“Alright, mum. Thanks.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes, ma.” She got up and hugged me. I expected her to tell me exactly what to do, but she and Zabby were leaving that to me. They both expressed their feelings, but that was it. No one wanted to meddle in my relationship.
***
“Hello.” Tochi finally called at the end of the month. It seemed like history was repeating itself. It was around this time last year that I eventually agreed to see him.
“Hi,” I replied, sounding colder than him.
“I have many things to talk about including your attitude, but I don’t have the time.”
“Congrats,” I answered, sarcastically. He scoffed.
“Well, I want to come next month, so clear your schedule if you have any.” I felt insulted. He sounded like he was giving me what I wanted and I should be thankful, but I was far from being thankful. I couldn’t be bothered.
“I can’t clear my schedule just like that. When exactly do you intend to come?”
“Are you serious, Angela?” He asked in disbelief.
“I need to know the exact week you are coming, then check the things I have to do to know if it works.”
“You know that my leave is for just two weeks right? And I am choosing to spend those weeks with you. You wanted me to come and I am doing what you want, but it is not enough for you. Are you going to hide my son from me?” Tochi was an expert in wielding the guilt card when all else failed.
“Tochi, I don’t have strength for this. What week in February do you want to come?”
“Okay, once my leave gets approved, I will let you know.”
“Okay.” He stayed on the call expecting me to talk but I had nothing to say.
“If you have nothing else to say then bye-bye.” I kept quiet. I knew he was trying to cause a fight but I was done with all of that.
“You won’t talk abi?” He asked.
“Tochi, later.”
“Hmm, okay.” He didn’t end the call until I did.
…
Thanks for reading this episode. Please leave a comment below!
I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article.