Last updated on October 22nd, 2025 at 11:30 am
“Joe, I know that I don’t mind making space for someone else. For you,” I bravely add, which earns me a handsome smile from Joe. “I don’t think that healing can be quantified, though. One day, you’re good and you think it’s all coming together; the next day, you’re confused again. It’s not linear and it never ends.”
“I can relate, baby. I can relate.” He almost whispers. To be called ‘baby’ by Joe, though. My heart and the surrounding ice fence melt by a fraction.
“The only difference is that before I tiptoed around it, around living. Now, I have dipped my feet into it and I’m standing ten toes down. It’s the only way that I get to live a decent life, something that is meaningful to me, not just some set of actions expected of me.”
“I love what I’m hearing, Angie. I love it.”
“Frankly, I don’t think I’m ready to get into a relationship immediately, like now or tomorrow… I want to increase my odds of having a beautiful relationship and I am of the opinion that I need more time.” I say, looking at his face. It kills me to say it. I fear that I might miss the opportunity again, but obvious relief washes over Joe’s face.
“Thanks for your transparency, Angela. You don’t know how much I appreciate it. What do you think of a slow burn? I can do this, I can talk to you for a few more months, then we can reevaluate where we are.”
“I never considered that as an option. How come?” I ask, laughing, but it’s not really a question.
“Well, we can create our options.”
“I like it. I like the idea. How does it work? For us, I mean. It’s reasonable considering that we just got back into each other’s lives and we are different people than we were at nineteen and twenty-one.”
“We could maybe talk to each other weekly like this. We chat daily as it is, but we can do a video call weekly. Maybe for a month or a month and a half, then we check where we’re mentally and emotionally.”
“So, if we’re good, we then become boyfriend and girlfriend?” I ask genuinely. Somehow, it makes Joe laugh, diluting the earlier intensity. I smile.
“I don’t know, it just sounds as if we’re joking around or something when I hear girlfriend and boyfriend. I like the sound of life partners, my person for life, you know? Like business partners, but in this case as life partners, we do life together. Besties for life, but in this case, I’m your ‘Person for life’. Call me at 1 am, 2 am, anytime, anywhere and I’m right beside you.”
“Joe, aren’t you the sappiest guy ever?” I’m grinning from ear to ear, unable to contain the joy that’s seeping out of my pores.
“I love that look, baby.” He smiles. I’m about to reply when Zabby bursts into my room. Of course, she catches the goofy smile on my face. I look at her questioningly, but she just sits on my bed.
“Umm, sorry. My cousin came in. I’m…” I close my eyes to collect my thoughts. Zabby is now lying on the bed facing me, her head propped up with her hand. “I’m absolutely fine with any terms that we choose. I think that the intention is all that matters. We can use the boyfriend-girlfriend word, yet treat each other in the same way that you described. Do you get what I mean?” I ask, ignoring Zabby’s pointed look.
“I understand you, baby.” He says, nodding. I look at the screen and see that we’ve been speaking for more than two hours, hence Zabby being in my room.
“It’s been over two hours, Joe!”
“I know. I hoped that you wouldn’t notice. I know. I don’t want it to end, Angie.” He pouts.
“Neither do I. My cousin is here, though, needing my attention like a puppy.” Zabby rolls her eyes. Joe laughs.
“Well, I’m not selfish. I know it’s the same cousin, Elizabeth. Extend my love to her.”
“You remember her?!”
“Sweetcakes, I should be mad that you think that I don’t remember one of the most significant people to you. Bye, baby.”
“Bye.” I barely get out before he ends the call.
“Start talking!” Zabby screams.
