Last updated on July 6th, 2023 at 08:17 am
The most perfect relationship can face the toughest moments. Relationships hold a mirror to our face and in order to transcend our egos, we must be willing to look in the mirror and address what we see. Every relationship has its moments but the goal is to find a balance, to make the beautiful days exceed the not-so-good ones.
A healthy relationship takes two intentional people to work. This implies that it’s not a job for just one person to do though it’s smart for each partner to be responsible for their actions within the relationship. In the soup that’s a relationship, there are different recipes for cooking it just as there are many ingredients that can make the soup flavourful. However, there are three non-negotiables (ingredients) for every healthy relationship.
Without these three things, even the healthiest relationship can turn sour meanwhile, a struggling relationship can find balance:
Communication:
This goes without saying and for me and in my relationship, I’ve found it to be the strong glue that holds us together, the major ingredient that transforms and grows our bond. Every healthy relationship needs to be able to communicate—be ready for the toughest, longest, and most vulnerable communication.
It’s important to communicate without being defensive. And this area is where most attempts at communication quickly go down south. Communication has to come from a place of empathy, the need to understand as well as accountability. Otherwise, every attempt stands to face a hurdle.
Appreciation:
Another non-negotiable is appreciating one another. Relationships, both romantic and/or the other types, require a lot of work. They require a lot of input and many times, compromises have to be made. With time, these compromises and efforts can come off as trivial or we expect nothing less, but the habit of appreciating and finding value in everything that your partner does goes a long way.
We all love to be seen and acknowledged. One habit that guarantees this is to appreciate your partner. Even when their action is not related to you and it’s about them, you can still appreciate them (read as compliment them). The underlying factor of appreciation is value. I value you. I see you. I acknowledge you. No one is immune to a “thank you” or a compliment.
Vulnerability:
One hang-up that even relationships with huge potential can face is not wanting to be vulnerable. Maybe falling in love is unintentional but growing in love is definitely intentional. Until you let go and permit yourself to be vulnerable regardless of the possible risks, you cannot enjoy what the relationship/ your partner is offering or has to offer.
Having had two unsuccessful relationships myself, I struggled with being vulnerable with my partner. I had my guard up and built a wall. I soon discovered that if I really wanted to enjoy my relationship and not waste my time, I had to let go and let down my guard.
With regard to being cautious, the dating phase is the time to be watchful and more rational. Once you fully start to court each other, more often than not, you have to let your heart lead and trust that the other person is not out to get you.
In this post on 3 ways to prepare for a blossoming love life, I touch on letting go of unhealthy relationship mindsets and the need to accept that you want your relationship and act like it. These two points are an aspect of vulnerability. I also talk about working on yourself, which might be what you need in order to be a better communicator in your relationship.
A relationship with the right person is hardly ever a waste. If not anything, you get to be more in touch with yourself. To see yourself—your flaws and beauty reflected in another.
I hope that the love you desire finds you and fills you up more than you could have imagined.
Cheers!
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